The Diary of a Madman

by Guy de Maupassant

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The Diary of a Madman was published in Gil Blas in October, 1886. A longer version involving a supernatural being which haunts his being, called Le Horla, was published in 1887. This horror story about an undiscovered madman was loosely adapted into a 1963 horror movie starring Vincent Price and Nancy Kovack. [Movie poster at the end].

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William Julian-Damazy, drawing, Georges Lemoine, engraving

He was dead--the head of a high tribunal, the upright magistrate whose irreproachable life was a proverb in all the courts of France. Advocates, young counsellors, judges had greeted him at sight of his large, thin, pale face lighted up by two sparkling deep-set eyes, bowing low in token of respect.

He had passed his life in pursuing crime and in protecting the weak. Swindlers and murderers had no more redoubtable enemy, for he seemed to read the most secret thoughts of their minds.

He was dead, now, at the age of eighty-two, honored by the homage and followed by the regrets of a whole people. Soldiers in red trousers had escorted him to the tomb and men in white cravats had spoken words and shed tears that seemed to be sincere beside his grave.

But here is the strange paper found by the dismayed notary in the desk where he had kept the records of great criminals! It was entitled:

WHY?

20th June, 1851. I have just left court. I have condemned Blondel to death! Now, why did this man kill his five children? Frequently one meets with people to whom the destruction of life is a pleasure. Yes, yes, it should be a pleasure, the greatest of all, perhaps, for is not killing the next thing to creating? To make and to destroy! These two words contain the history of the universe, all the history of worlds, all that is, all! Why is it not intoxicating to kill?

25th June. To think that a being is there who lives, who walks, who runs. A being? What is a being? That animated thing, that bears in it the principle of motion and a will ruling that motion. It is attached to nothing, this thing. Its feet do not belong to the ground. It is a grain of life that moves on the earth, and this grain of life, coming I know not whence, one can destroy at one's will. Then nothing--nothing more. It perishes, it is finished.

26th June. Why then is it a crime to kill? Yes, why? On the contrary, it is the law of nature. The mission of every being is to kill; he kills to live, and he kills to kill. The beast kills without ceasing, all day, every instant of his existence. Man kills without ceasing, to nourish himself; but since he needs, besides, to kill for pleasure, he has invented hunting! The child kills the insects he finds, the little birds, all the little animals that come in his way. But this does not suffice for the irresistible need to massacre that is in us. It is not enough to kill beasts; we must kill man too. Long ago this need was satisfied by human sacrifices. Now the requirements of social life have made murder a crime. We condemn and punish the assassin! But as we cannot live without yielding to this natural and imperious instinct of death, we relieve ourselves, from time to time, by wars. Then a whole nation slaughters another nation. It is a feast of blood, a feast that maddens armies and that intoxicates civilians, women and children, who read, by lamplight at night, the feverish story of massacre.

One might suppose that those destined to accomplish these butcheries of men would be despised! No, they are loaded with honors. They are clad in gold and in resplendent garments; they wear plumes on their heads and ornaments on their breasts, and they are given crosses, rewards, titles of every kind. They are proud, respected, loved by women, cheered by the crowd, solely because their mission is to shed human blood; They drag through the streets their instruments of death, that the passer-by, clad in black, looks on with envy. For to kill is the great law set by nature in the heart of existence! There is nothing more beautiful and honorable than killing!

30th June. To kill is the law, because nature loves eternal youth. She seems to cry in all her unconscious acts: "Quick! quick! quick!" The more she destroys, the more she renews herself.

2d July. A human being--what is a human being? Through thought it is a reflection of all that is; through memory and science it is an abridged edition of the universe whose history it represents, a mirror of things and of nations, each human being becomes a microcosm in the macrocosm.

3d July. It must be a pleasure, unique and full of zest, to kill; to have there before one the living, thinking being; to make therein a little hole, nothing but a little hole, to see that red thing flow which is the blood, which makes life; and to have before one only a heap of limp flesh, cold, inert, void of thought!

5th August. I, who have passed my life in judging, condemning, killing by the spoken word, killing by the guillotine those who had killed by the knife, I, I, if I should do as all the assassins have done whom I have smitten, I--I--who would know it?

10th August. Who would ever know? Who would ever suspect me, me, me, especially if I should choose a being I had no interest in doing away with?

15th August. The temptation has come to me. It pervades my whole being; my hands tremble with the desire to kill.

22d August. I could resist no longer. I killed a little creature as an experiment, for a beginning. Jean, my servant, had a goldfinch in a cage hung in the office window. I sent him on an errand, and I took the little bird in my hand, in my hand where I felt its heart beat. It was warm. I went up to my room. From time to time I squeezed it tighter; its heart beat faster; this was atrocious and delicious. I was near choking it. But I could not see the blood.

Then I took scissors, short-nail scissors, and I cut its throat with three slits, quite gently. It opened its bill, it struggled to escape me, but I held it, oh! I held it--I could have held a mad dog--and I saw the blood trickle.

And then I did as assassins do--real ones. I washed the scissors, I washed my hands. I sprinkled water and took the body, the corpse, to the garden to hide it. I buried it under a strawberry-plant. It will never be found. Every day I shall eat a strawberry from that plant. How one can enjoy life when one knows how!

My servant cried; he thought his bird flown. How could he suspect me? Ah! ah!

25th August. I must kill a man! I must----

30th August. It is done. But what a little thing! I had gone for a walk in the forest of Vernes. I was thinking of nothing, literally nothing. A child was in the road, a little child eating a slice of bread and butter.

He stops to see me pass and says, "Good-day, Mr. President."

And the thought enters my head, "Shall I kill him?"

I answer: "You are alone, my boy?"

"Yes, sir."

"All alone in the wood?"

"Yes, sir."

The wish to kill him intoxicated me like wine. I approached him quite softly, persuaded that he was going to run away. And, suddenly, I seized him by the throat. He looked at me with terror in his eyes--such eyes! He held my wrists in his little hands and his body writhed like a feather over the fire. Then he moved no more. I threw the body in the ditch, and some weeds on top of it. I returned home, and dined well. What a little thing it was! In the evening I was very gay, light, rejuvenated; I passed the evening at the Prefect's. They found me witty. But I have not seen blood! I am tranquil.

31st August. The body has been discovered. They are hunting for the assassin. Ah! ah!

1st September. Two tramps have been arrested. Proofs are lacking.

2d September. The parents have been to see me. They wept! Ah! ah!

6th October. Nothing has been discovered. Some strolling vagabond must have done the deed. Ah! ah! If I had seen the blood flow, it seems to me I should be tranquil now! The desire to kill is in my blood; it is like the passion of youth at twenty.

20th October. Yet another. I was walking by the river, after breakfast. And I saw, under a willow, a fisherman asleep. It was noon. A spade was standing in a potato-field near by, as if expressly, for me.

I took it. I returned; I raised it like a club, and with one blow of the edge I cleft the fisherman's head. Oh! he bled, this one! Rose-colored blood. It flowed into the water, quite gently. And I went away with a grave step. If I had been seen! Ah! ah! I should have made an excellent assassin.

25th October. The affair of the fisherman makes a great stir. His nephew, who fished with him, is charged with the murder.

26th October. The examining magistrate affirms that the nephew is guilty. Everybody in town believes it. Ah! ah!

27th October. The nephew makes a very poor witness. He had gone to the village to buy bread and cheese, he declared. He swore that his uncle had been killed in his absence! Who would believe him?

28th October. The nephew has all but confessed, they have badgered him so. Ah! ah! justice!

15th November. There are overwhelming proofs against the nephew, who was his uncle's heir. I shall preside at the sessions.

25th January. To death! to death! to death! I have had him condemned to death! Ah! ah! The advocate-general spoke like an angel! Ah! ah! Yet another! I shall go to see him executed!

10th March. It is done. They guillotined him this morning. He died very well! very well! That gave me pleasure! How fine it is to see a man's head cut off

Now, I shall wait, I can wait. It would take such a little thing to let myself be caught.

The manuscript contained yet other pages, but without relating any new crime.

Alienist physicians to whom the awful story has been submitted declare that there are in the world many undiscovered madmen as adroit and as much to be feared as this monstrous lunatic.

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The Diary of a Madman was featured as The Short Story of the Day on Fri, Jul 03, 2015

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This story is appropriately included in our Gothic, Ghost, Horror & Weird Library

Source: americanliterature.com

KUTIPAN DALAM NOVEL “SEMUA ANAK BANGSA”

1.      “Betapa aneh kalau setiap kemuliaan dilahirkan di atas kesengsaraan yang lain. Dan betapa kacau diri di tengah kenyataan dunia, dalam tingkatan pendapat dan perasaan tak terumuskan”

– Semua Anak Bangsa, hal 57                

Analisis:

Ada rasa heran pada hati Minke ketika ia menyadari bahwa kemuliaan didapatkan seseorang diatas kesengsaraan orang lain, perasaan heran tersebut membawa Minke pada kebingungan. Karena kemuliaan adalah kedudukan yang tinggi. Tapi sangat miris ketika kedudukan yang tinggi serta martabat yang dijunjung tinggi didapatkan dengan cara menindas dan merampas hak orang lain, hal tersebut sungguh tidak bijaksana sebagai orang yang memiliki kedudukan tinggi.

2.      “Kau pribumi terpelajar! Kalau mereka itu, pribumi itu, tidak terpelajar, kau harus bikin mereka jadi terpelajar. Kau harus, harus, harus, harus bicara pada mereka, dengan bahasa yang mereka tahu.”

–Semua Anak Bangsa, hal 73

Analisis:

Minke berbicara pada diri sendiri untuk meyakinkan dan membulatkan tekadnya atas tujuannya tersebut, yaitu berbicara kepada orang yang tidak terpelajar dan membuat mereka menjadi terpelajar. Seorang terpelajar memiliki ilmu dan pengetahuaan yang lebih baik daripada orang yang tidak terpelajar. Maka dari itu Minke ingin membantu dan berbagi dengan orang yang tidak dapat mendapat kesempatan untuk menjadi seorang terpelajar.

3.      “Beda dengan Cina, yang dapat ditemui dan dilihat dimana saja di Hindia: kaki telanjangnya yang melangkahi jalan raya dan jalanan dusun, dengan barang dagangan di kulitnya yang cerah. Dan tidak pernah mengeluh! Orang tidak mengakrabinya. Karena keterbatasan bahasa mereka. Karena kelainan kebiasaan dan kepercayaan. Namun bagiku memang mempunyai kelebihan yang menarik. Tanpa mengayunkan pacul atau parang, tanpa membalik tanah dan tanpa menumbuhkan biji-bijian mereka dapat makan dan mampu hidup lebih baik daripada pribumi seumumnya. Orang tak mau melihat kelebihan mereka, kecuali melototi perbedaannya. Dan kalau Cina sudah punya kelebihan seperti itu, barangtentu Jepang malah lebih jauh lagi”.

–Semua Anak Bangsa, hal 65

Analisis:

Pada kutipan diatas Minke sedang membandingkan bangsa Cina dengan pribumi sebangsanya, tampak ia sedang memuji-muji bangsa Cina dengan kerja keras serta sikap bangsa Cina tersebut. Walaupun pada akhirnya Minke membandingkan Cina dengan Jepang yang lebih maju, tetapi Minke melihat bangsa Cina berbeda dengan sudut pandang pribumi lainnya.

4.     “Dalam kepalaku terbayang para raja dan bupati pribumi yang gila kebesaran. Orang-orang harus membungkuk dan merangkak di hadapan mereka, menyembah dan diperintah untuk menyenangkan hati mereka. Dan mereka belum tentu lebih terpelajar daripada orang yang diperintahnya.... dan di bumi kelahiranku jangankan terbayang, masuk dalam akal pun tidak. Tanpa kekuasaan kulit putih raja-raja pribumi akan kerahkan setiap orang untuk saling memusnahkan buat berebut unggul. Kan itu yang terjadi abad demi abad?”

 –Semua Anak Bangsa, hal 404

Analisis:

Ada rasa kesal dan prihatin yang Minke rasakan terhadap kenyataan yang ia dapati pada bangsanya dan ia juga meyakini bahwa tidak ada yang memikirkan kenyataan tersebut. Kenyataan yang terjadi yaitu pada Hindia di masa-masa kejayaan seorang raja, raja yang memerintah dan serakah akan kekuasaan belum tentu lebih memiliki pengetahuaan atau kecerdasan daripada masyarakat yang diperintahnya. Hal tersebut belum disadari oleh pribumi Hindia, padahal sudah berlangsung sangat lama.

5.      “Dan sekarang pikiranku membayangkan hebatnya emansipasi. Umat manusia akan runtuh tanpa wanita, katanya. Mengapa wanita mesti jadi landasan kehidupan? Mengapa diantara anak-anaknya sendiri yang karena kebetulan saja jadi lelaki, berkebaratan setengah mati kalau wanita tampil kedepan umum? Mengapa sampai sekarang Nederland tetap menutup kesempatan bagi wanita untuk jadi menteri dan anggota Tweede Kamer? Sekalipun Nederland sudah dua kali berurutan diperintah oleh raja perempuan?”.

-Semua Anak Bangsa, hal 436

Analisis:

Dalam kutipan tersebut Minke sedang bergejolak dengan pikirannya, memikirkan dan menelaah suatu hal yang ia sebut emansipasi wanita. Terlihat rasa penasaran dan pikiran kritis Minke terhadap emansipasi wanita. Perempuan di Hindia pada saat itu hanya bekerja yang berurusan dengan dapur dan rumah tangga.

LANGUAGE TEACHING METHODOLOGY

As a language learner, it is important to understand the various methods so that you are able to make educated choices. I’m going to review about what I have learned recently in language teaching methodology class. There are a lots of methods fort teaching, they are The Direct Method, Grammar-translation, Audio-lingual, The Structural approach, Suggestopedia, Total Physical Response (TPR), Communicative language teaching (CLT), The Silent Way, Gouin’s Series Method, Community Language Leaning, Immersion, Task-based language learning, The Natural Approach, The Lexical Syllabus.

·         Grammar Translation Method

I think this one of the most methods that always been used by teacher in school, because it is focusing on grammar rules, memorization of vocabularies and declensions and conjugations, translation of texts, written exercises. For example students learn grammatical rules and then apply those rules by translating sentences between English to Indonesian. There is not usually any listening or speaking practice, and very little attention is placed on pronunciation or any communicative aspects of the language. Most of teachers usually do not speak English in the class, they use their mother tongue. The skill exercised is reading, and writing only.

·         Total Physical Response (TPR)

This is one of the effective methods for student, because Total Physical Response (TPR) can be used to teach and practice many things. For example, in the class room the teacher plays the role of parent. She starts by saying a word “jump” “stand up” “open the book” and demonstrating the action. The teacher then says the command and students all do the action. It is a lot of fun, students enjoy it. This method also used by the parent. The parent instructs and the child physically responds to this. The parent says, “look at mama” or “hold this” and the child does it. These conversations happen for many months until the child can speak by itself.

·         Gouin’s Series Method

Francois Gouine (1800s), a French teacher of Latin. He used to studying German grammar and took a test but he failed. He tried again to memorizing numerous German vocabularies, and he failed again. And then he went to his home town observing the language development of his nephew who just starts to speak that it is not only by learning vocabularies and grammar but it is necessary for listening the language. So language learning is a matter of transforming perceptions into conceptions. Language is a means of thinking, of representing the world to oneself

·         The series method

A method that taught learners directly (without translation) and conceptually (without grammatical rules and explanations) a “series” of connected sentences that are easy to perceive. The language was so easily understood, stores, recalled, and related to reality

For example:

I walk toward the door. I draw near to the door. I draw nearer to the door. I get to the door. I stop at the door.

I stretch out my arm. I take hold of the handle. I turn the handle. I open the door. I pull the door.

The door moves. The door turns on its hinges. The door turns and turns. I open the door wide. I let go of the handle.

I think those are all that I have learned in Language Teaching Methodology class with Mr.Taufiq. My impression of his class is just really interesting. In his class we sit in a circle and he does the TPR method such as stand up, move around, etc. Also we need to speak full English during his class, no mother tongue allows. So I think he used few of teaching methods in his class and it is effective enough for students improve their skill.  Another precious thing that I learn from him is nothing could ever stop you. And always be grateful for what you have right nowJ

My Strengths and Weaknesses

I believe that life is a learning experience and being able to recognize our own strengths and weaknesses can help us become better individuals in anything we choose to do.  One of my greatest strengths is I trust my-self. That is why I believe that nothing is impossible. Everything is possible if you like to do or if you are a laborious person and take it as a challenge. Also, I am very faithful for my work and people who are near and dear for me. I do not like giving fake promises. I always say the things that are true. I feel always guilty, If I cheat someone or deliver wrong messages. But the key to everything is patience. I am proud enough being a patient person. In order to succeed in every walk of life, you need to have a great deal of enduring patience.  The importance of patience is not to be ignored, but you have need of patience to live satisfying life.

Every one of us has weaknesses, and so do I. My greatest weakness is my self-confidence. I used to get scared and nervous while giving presentation or speaking in front of the people. I do not lnow how I came to have this, but I do know that it is a problem that I absolutely have to fix. I am very soft by nature that is why I easily believe on others words. I always try to help people without understanding whether that will be good or bad for me. Also, I am very shy, but once I get to know a person, I do not have any issues interacting with that person.

Everybody has their own strengths and weaknesses, and I have already found mine. I can see now that identifying our strengths and weaknesses is important, as it allows you to experience, learn, and better youself.

UCAPAN ORANG TUA ADALAH DOA

Orang tua dan anak adalah hal yang tidak dapat terpisahkan. Kita sebagai seorang anak haruslah menurut kepada orang tua. Saat ditanya “mengapa kita harus menurut kepada orang tua?” sebagian besar anak-anak menjawab alasan mereka melakukannya adalah agar tidak dimarahi oleh orang tua. Mereka takut jika orang tuanya marah maka akan terjadi hal yang menakutkan dan membuat mereka menangis. Itulah anggapan sebagian besar anak terhadap orang tuanya.

Didikan keluarga adalah salah satu hal penting dalam hidup. Karena, aspek ini merupakan salah satu pendukung pertumbuhan karakter seseorang untuk menjalani hidup kedepannya. Jika didikan dari keluarga tersebut baik, maka individu seorang anak kemungkinan besar pun akan baik. Tetapi jika didikan didalam keluarganya kurang baik atau bahkan tidak baik maka sangat besar pula kemungkinannya anak tersebut akan tumbuh menjadi individu yang kurang baik.

Beberapa hari yang lalu, tanteku cerita tentang salah satu anak tetangga. Anak laki-laki yang berusia sekitar 7 tahunan itu katanya susah sekali menangkap pelajaran.

Walaupun sudah ikut les juga diberi pelajaran tambahan sepulang sekolah, tapi tetap saja tak bisa memperbaiki nilainya. Itulah sebabnya orang tuanya sering dipanggil kesekolah.

“Dasar anak bodoh!!”

“Otak kamu ditaruh dimana?!”

“Bego banget sih!! Masa begini aja nggak bisa?!”

“Goblok!!”

“Anak nakal!!”

“Si kampret!!”

Masih banyak lagi kalimat-kalimat yang sebenarnya tidak pantas diucapkan oleh orang tua kepada anaknya. Aku akan segera menjauh bila tetangga yang satu ini mulai teriak-teriak memarahi anak-anaknya, daripada mendengarkan ucapan yang hanya menyakiti telingaku.

Sudah jadi rahasia umum di lingkungan kami, kalau mereka adalah keluarga yang keras. Seringnya terjadi pertengkaran suami istri di rumah itu, membuat anak mereka menjadi korban. Anak-anak yang tak mendapat perhatian, akhirnya tumbuh tak seperti yang diharapkan.

Saat sang anak melakukan kesalahan, walaupun hal sepele akan menyebabkan orang tuanya terutama ibunya mengeluarkan kata-kata seperti kalimat-kalimat diatas.

Aku bilang ke tanteku, "Mungkin gak sih anak itu jadi bodoh gara-gara sering dimarahi dan disumpahin sama orang tuanya? Bukannya setiap omongan yang keluar dari mulut orang tua itu doa buat anaknya?”

"Ya, mungkin aja itu penyebabnya" sahut tanteku.

Memang orang tua anak itu tak pernah menyakiti fisiknya. Mereka tak menyadari, bahwa perkataan caci maki dan sumpah serapah yang terucap jauh lebih menyakiti perasaan sang anak. Tanpa sadar ucapan-ucapan tersebut menjadi doa yang membentuk karakter anak menjadi anak yang "nakal", "bodoh" dll, seperti kata yang sudah terlanjur terucap. Karena tak menyadarinya mereka menyalahkan sang anak atas kelakuan buruknya.

Aku bersyukur punya mama yang sangat sabar dan ayah yang meskipun agak pemarah, tapi tak pernah mencaci maki. Dia hanya marah pada perbuatanku yang dianggapnya salah.

Kesimpulannya adalah anak akan menampilkan diri sesuai dengan julukan yang diberikan dari orang tua. Anak-anak itu sangat percaya pada ucapan yang berkali-kali keluar dari mulut ayah dan ibu mereka.

Dengan kata lain, jika orang tua mengharapkan anak-anak tumbuh sebagai pribadi yang baik, sehat, cerdas, berbudi luhur tentu kata-kata, sikap, dan perilaku orang tua pun harus sesuai dengan harapan tersebut. (S.N.K)